Living on the SPECTRUM

“There are not enough reasons yet for me to think that I am struggling”, were the words that resonated with Sean Toh, alumnus of NUS Psychology, and founder of SPECTRUM, as he checked-in with two of his students in Biological Psychology. Little did he know that a couple of days later, Sean would have almost never hear from his students again.

In March 2020, Sean suffered a heart attack (acute myocarditis) due to stress. For him, self-stigma had always been the biggest obstacle that prevented him from fully engaging in life. Even as he was overcommitted, Sean often found himself at the torment of his disappointment when he failed to achieve any of his expectations. Still, Sean felt normal not to seek help because he observed the same in many of his peers.

During his ICU stay, Sean was visited by a close friend, Karen Lee. He fondly remembered how she would confide in him about her mental health struggles –  from the littlest to crippling moments of anxiety and sadness. It was then that Sean realised, that had he too acknowledged that he was mentally struggling and decided to seek help, he would not have suffered the heart attack. He would not have overworked himself.

“One who takes care of the littlest is one who takes care of the whole. We (students) tend to think that so many of our problems are minor and transient, and we would eventually get through them ourselves. This nearly cost me my life.”
- Sean Toh, alumnus of NUS Psychology, and founder of SPECTRUM.

Miraculously, Sean managed to fully recover from his heart disease with only medication and plenty of rest. His prognosis was more than excellent.

Today, Sean reflects:

“The near death experience reminded me of a choice I never thought I had. I learnt that seeking help and learning to relax is a daily choice. Once I took that leap of faith, I realised that there is absolutely no drawback in doing so. Though there were days that I still struggled to make the same choice, every day is a chance to begin again. I wish for my fellow students to be kinder to themselves. As we learn to make a habit of choosing what is best for our mental health, we are well on our way to live a life with genuine fulfilment.”

With a second chance at life, Sean stepped towards an unfamiliar path – lengthening the timeline of his aspirations and learning to unwind and relax.

To champion for an improvement in mental health perceptions, Sean formed a team with his passionate friends, Karen Lee, Wellace Leong and Coco Yau to participate in the NUS Public Health Challenge 2020 in which they prevailed.